Escape to Life – The Authors' Journey

Once a person stops seeing your value, there is nothing that you can do to get them to value you again. Yet, we often forget that our value is not dependent on the views of others or how they behave towards us. That dependency on the value, or lack of it, that others place on us is like chains that keep us prisoners instead of allowing us to achieve our full potential.

As human beings, our immediate reaction to someone devaluing us, is to try to prove to them that we are valuable, to give more, do more and achieve more and above all, to give more love to the person whose actions no longer show us true love.

But by sacrificing ourselves, our hopes, dreams and needs in the hope to receive again that love that we originally received, at the start of a relationship for example, we achieve nothing other than our own personal destruction.

The more we sacrifice ourselves and abandon ourselves for the person we love, the more their disrespect and devaluing of us grows, often putting us in a situation where their contempt towards us becomes irreversible and we even place our own lives in danger.

Loosing ourselves in a relationship that is destroying our lives does not prove our value to anyone. Eventually it comes to the point where we stand there completely lost and don’t even know who we are anymore.

The only solution is to open our eyes and accept the reality. Our value does not depend on the views or actions of others, be it a partner in a relationship, a family member, a friend or even a boss.

Every human being is valuable independently from the views or actions of others.

One thing that really helped me to recognise my own value was to make a list of all my achievements during my life till that point in time. Helpful questions to build that list are:

1. What are my biggest achievements as an individual?
2. What made me into the person I am today?
3. What were ten things I did a long time ago that made me proud of myself?
4. Am I proud of my actions and who I have become?
5. When I look at my life today, am I proud of what I did and of who I have become?
6. Would my younger self look at me and be proud of me?
7. What positive action did I take for myself and my independent life this week?
8. What positive step towards my own independence from the opinions and influences of others did I take during the last few days?
9. Finally make a list of all your positive qualities, those you know you have and those you wish to develop, then hang that list on your mirror and read it everyday.

Of course that list should focus on what builds you into a better version of yourself.

That list should have phrases like: I am loyal, I am kind, I help others, I recognise my value as a human being, I am funny, I rather give than take away from others, I know my strengths and limitations. I respect the rights of other people to live their lives without judging them. I do not control other people’s lives. I seek my freedom and respect the freedom of others. I do not judge others based on their nationality, colour, race, age or size.

Self analysis is not easy but it is one of the best ways forward, to a better understanding of oneself, to recognising one’s value and to return to ourselves whilst becoming the person we really want to be. It is also the first step to creating a better life and finding the courage to let go of that which no longer builds us up so that we can be someone we are proud of and who doesn’t depend on the opinions of others.

Finally, I would like to tell you about something I recently read. Judas betrayed Jesus in the worst possible way, he gave Jesus’ life away for money.

Judas’ actions did not devalue Jesus, they revealed the true character of Judas.

Read that again.

Life can be so beautiful and it is up to us to build a life that makes us proud of ourselves, our achievements and the freedom that we live in.

True freedom is not a licence to harm or wound others or do whatever we please regardless of the consequences, while leaving pain and destruction in our wake. True freedom is the ability to live with integrity, respect and personal responsibility.

We cannot build our own freedom on the suffering or destruction of others. True freedom respects the dignity and lives of those around us while accepting responsibility for the choices we make.

If you are in a situation where you feel that your freedom is being compromised, take the time to coldly look at the situation, analyse yourself and take steps to becoming a free person again. Nobody deserves to be devalued by the choices and actions of others or to live in fear and under the control of others.

Our true value does not depend on the views or actions of others.

With much kindness,

Beatriz

All content and photographs are the intellectual property of Beatriz Custodio Gonzalez. All rights reserved.

© Beatriz Custodio Gonzalez 2018 – 2026